BITE Chapter 7
A dream?
September 23, 2021
Last night I had a nightmare. I haven’t had any dreams, nightmares, or really anything for years. I heard drinking too much can do that to you. It messes with your REM sleep or some shit. Fuck if I know. I shouldn’t even bother writing this down. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has nightmares. I’m not special. Still, this felt different. It felt somehow… real.
I found myself in a city. I know for sure that it was a city. You know how dreams work; some things you just know for no real reason. This was like no city I’ve ever seen before, though.
A black sky dotted with faded yellow stars stretched above me. I didn’t recognize any patterns or constellations in them. They cast a dull, hazy light, and again, I think the best comparison is to a faded photograph. There was a river flowing through the city. I don’t think it was water. It looked more like mercury mixed with something like mud or mucus. I had no plans of swimming in it and finding out.
The buildings were all made of some kind of shimmering metal, but it was hard to get a read on them. I had a sense that their architecture was vaguely Roman or Greek, but even that I’m uncertain of. They were all a bit blurry, like I was seeing them out of the corner of my eye even if I looked right at them. The angles were off, too. It was like each corner seemed too wide or too small, and they would be different each time I looked at them. Every building, every walkway, every bridge was simultaneously each of the things I just listed, but also none of them. Behind it all, gently humming in the air, was music. I couldn’t focus on it, and I can’t even hum it now, but I am sure it was the same music I heard at the service.
The cobbled streets twisted, dipped, and rose without rhyme or reason. They were crowded with people, or at least with what seemed like people. Everyone was dressed in emerald green robes. They looked silken, but when I focused, they seemed more alive, like the shells of beetles. From a distance, the robed figures looked like people; they had two arms and two legs, but something felt wrong. If I got close enough and if I stared more intensely, I became less sure of those facts. It was like each person had too many limbs or too few. Some of them had the wrong number of fingers. Some of them had skin like porcelain, and others like melted candle wax. The one thing I couldn’t examine was their faces. Each of them had a long hood that hid their face in shadow. I felt overwhelming anxiety whenever I tried to see their faces, but I couldn’t tell you what I was afraid I would find.
There was someone else there, too. Far, far in the distance, there was a king. I knew he was a king the same way I knew I was in a city: I just did. It was undeniable. He was incomprehensibly huge. His massive frame dominated the skyline. His whole body was cast in shadow, obscuring specific features, but I could tell he was facing away. I could sense an intense longing for something emanating from this king, but I don’t know what for. He radiated power, and I felt in this dream as if there was nothing beyond his reach. Out of everything I saw in this dreamscape, everything that happened, I feared this king most of all.
In my nightmare, I walked through this city for a while. Well, walking isn’t fully accurate. You know how dreams go. You’re in one place, then you’re somewhere else, and the in-between part gets forgotten, if there even was any. All I know for sure is that everywhere I went, the hooded figures whispered to me. I couldn’t see their eyes, but I felt them all staring at me. Their words were too quiet to make out, but I could understand their tone. They…
Jesus fuck, this is embarrassing. They were horny for me, and I wanted them too. I swear this wasn’t some stupid wet dream. I haven’t had one of those since middle school. In my defense, I didn’t fully wanna fuck them. Even in my uncontrollable dream state, I could tell something wasn’t right about my desires. Mentally, I was repulsed by the hooded figures. Physically, though, well, you know how I can be, Luke. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched in that way. I’m so alone.
I held out as long as I could. I know that you don’t claim me as yours anymore. I know when we were together, you didn’t… God, I don’t even know where I’m going with this. Well, as you’d expect, I finally broke down and gave in. I reached out to one of them, but they rejected me.
The instant I accepted their invitation, there was a shift in energy. Where one moment I had felt desire from them, in the next, I felt sheer fucking hatred. Their whispers quickly turned to shouts, and now I could understand every word. Trash. Whore. Slut. Bitch. Filth. Dirt. They’re words I know well, but they carried more weight in that moment.
I ran as fast as I could. The world around me got even blurrier. The harder I tried to run, the slower I went. It was like the air had turned as thick as molasses. Wherever I went, there were more and more of these hooded people jeering, yelling, screaming, screeching at me. I turned a corner and thought for a moment I had made it out. It got quiet and I didn’t see any of them, but that’s when I got grabbed from behind.
I was forcibly turned around and saw a single hooded man. He pulled back his hood and I saw that it was Mr. Coexist. He had this horrible, devious smile, and his mouth seemed ever so slightly too wide. He swung at me hard and hit me in the jaw. I was knocked to the ground and spit out several of my teeth. In an instant, I was surrounded. A horde of robed things fell upon me. They kicked, scratched, bit, stomped, ripped, and tore me limb from limb. Behind the throng, looming in the distance, I could still see the king. He turned back to face me, and…
And I woke up. I was fine, because of course I am. It wasn’t actually real no matter how real it felt. It was just a dream. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this all down. I need to work it out in my head and prove it was just a dream. When I really think about it, nothing was too surprising.
The painting I saw on the tour certainly had an impact on me. It’s not shocking that my sleep was disturbed after seeing and feeling what I saw and felt. Even when awake I feel that same chill if I think about it too much. The colors, the architecture, all of it lines up with my dreamscape. There was a king because this place calls God The King. The, uh, let’s call it theme of the dream, isn’t shocking in the slightest. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t had more dreams like it before now. I know all of this is normal, ordinary, expected. I’m not an idiot. Still, just writing about it now makes my heart sink in my chest and gives me shivers. I should at least see a doctor about it.
You know, it’s funny, actually. I remember being pretty beat up by Mr. Coexist. I thought I even had some broken bones. For some reason, though, I almost forgot about that until now. I just checked, and sure enough, I still have some nasty bruises on my neck and chest. It hurts like hell now that I am aware of it again. Why didn’t I try to get medical care right away? Somehow, being here made me feel okay. I’m not ready to call myself a believer yet, but that’s not nothing, right? There’s something there. In any case, even if I did feel perfectly fine, who knows when I’ll next be able to get any sort of checkup, physical, all that shit. I oughta take advantage of it while I can, and then once that’s taken care of, I’ll leave. There’s no use staying here longer than I need to. They’re all nice people, but I’m not one of them.