BITE Chapter 11
Nevermeant
September 26, 2021
I followed Dr. Zaile’s instructions and “leaned into” my dream last night. It had quite the effect for sure, but I don’t know what to make of it. This dream, it really didn’t feel like a dream at all. I was too conscious, too aware. Maybe this is spiritual somehow? I’m still not fully convinced of that stuff, but there was something to this place. I knew that I had fallen asleep and had full access to my normal memories. All five of my senses were working as if I were awake. The air was bitingly cold. I checked myself and saw I was dressed in the same robes as the others I always see here. I can’t remember if I was dressed this way last time.
At first, the buildings around me were still out of focus and constantly changing forms like before. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and focused myself. When I opened them, everything had settled into more understandable shapes. There was still a certain blurriness to my surroundings, like the buildings were all vibrating or were actually a heat mirage, but at least they were all just one single thing now. The people, though? That was a whole other story.
I thought maybe the robed figures would look more normal, more human now that I could better understand my surroundings, but the opposite was true. Most of the figures had three or more arms or legs, or had one thick limb as opposed to many. Even the few with the correct number still had something wrong, like having one arm bigger and wider than their entire body or having shriveled, vestigial legs peaking out from beneath their robes. I still couldn’t see any faces beneath their hoods.
I didn’t speak to any of them. I wanted to, or at least I felt like I should try, but I couldn’t bring myself to approach any of them. They were all whispering things, and while I couldn’t understand any of their words, I understood their tone. They all sounded so accusatory and angry. I’m sure Dr. Zaile would be disappointed in me for not talking to them, but hey, I’m doing my best. Baby steps are still steps. I wonder if the book uses that line.
The place was still nothing but sepia toned with a yellow-brown filter over everything. I had thought this weird coloration would fix itself when I brought the world into focus, but I guess that’s just a feature of this place. It seemed like it was nighttime. The cloudless sky was full of stars in unnerving formations. It was like the sky was giving me trypophobia. I realized that I’d never seen the Sun, or anything like a Sun, in this place. I wonder if the Sun ever rises there, or if daylight itself flees from the King’s looming presence. That, or he’s so damn big he just blocks it out entirely. I’m not sure which of the two I would prefer to be true.
I wandered the cobbled streets for some time. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should be looking for. Eventually, though, I heard a voice whisper to me.
“This way. Quick.”
It was the same voice I’d heard on my tour when I arrived at the compound. I spun on my heels and searched for where the whisper came from.
“In here. Quickly, now.”
I turned left to face a towering building lined with massive columns. There was a strangely small entrance in front of me. The opening was about the size of a normal doorway, which didn’t mesh with the gargantuan size of the rest of the building. A faint glow came from inside. This light somehow brought real, normal colors with it. Under this light, I could see the building was made of pure gold, or at least plated in it.
I approached this light. The closer I got, the warmer I felt, which was a fucking relief. Once inside, I could see the source. It, or he, I guess… How do I describe this? Imagine one of those videos showing how motion capture works. There’s all those dots forming the shape of a man. Now replace each dot with a point of light, and there’s a man-shaped film they’re all floating inside. That’s what I saw standing there.
“I’m so sorry,” the man said. “I failed you. You shouldn’t be here.”
“What do you mean you failed me? Who even are you? Like, I know you’re probably a figment of my imagination, but what’s your name?”
The glowing man quickly closed the distance between us and put his hand over y mouth. It burned like Hell. I tried to pry his hand off, but all that accomplished was burning my own hands. After a few agonizing seconds, he let go. I checked my hands and patted my face. There were no blisters or burns.
“NEVER utter your name here, or the name of another. That’s something you can never give them. Once they have your name, you belong fully to Him. Rest assured that I know you, and that you know me.” He motioned for me to follow. “Come. Let us not linger near the outside. This is one of the few places we may speak somewhat more freely.”
I followed him into a familiar maze of towering bookshelves.
“This is just like the library I was just at,” I commented.
I mean, of course it is. That’s how dreams work.
“Indeed,” said the glowing man. His voice was soft and kind, but there was an underlying firmness to it, like I were a child he was trying to corral. “This is far worse than I thought. It pains me so to see you here, and in the garb of a native no less.”
“And just where am I? Is this just a dream? Is it spiritual?”
He stopped and turned. Maybe he was facing me, but he didn’t really have a face, so who knows.
“Both of what you have said are true, but also neither. This is a place that should not be. It exits on the border of What Is and What Is Not. It is a crossroads between dimensions, and many beings have walked these streets. This city is known by many names. In your tongue, it can be called The Shining Citadel, New Soddham, The Gilded Gammorah. Those who serve the King call it Heaven. Its true title is one a human could neither speak nor comprehend. The closest translation is Nevermeant.”
“How do you know all of this?” I ran my finger along the spine of one of the dusty books. “I assume you read it here?”
The glowing man yanked my hand back, burning it again.
“I would never dare read any of these tomes. It is bad enough that you have read Beelzebub’s work. This is no ordinary library.” He waved his hand in a grand gesture. “This is the Anatheum of The Unwritten. Contained in these shelves are all that has never and must never be written.”
I glared at him. “What does that even mean? They’re literally written right here.”
“That is exactly why you must not read them.”
“You’re starting to piss me off,” I retorted. “I know you and you know me, but I don’t actually know you and you can’t say who you are. We’re in Heaven but also some spooky place called Nevermeant. Both things I said were right and wrong at the same time. You want to take me some place safe to talk, but we’re in a super dangerous library full of shit I can’t read. And for King’s sake, can you stop fucking burning…”
The glowing man punched me in the gut, burning me and knocking the wind out of me.
“Do not speak so flippantly about them. You must be careful with titles. The being in question is an angry, jealous, wrathful thing, especially toward women.”
Despite the heat radiating from him, my body shivered at the thought of the King looming over the city.
All I could manage was to say, “I’m sorry.”
Before I could say or do anything else, my vision blurred and the shelves flickered in and out of existence. Each time they disappeared, for that instant, I saw a horde of robed figures, and with each flicker, they were closer.
The glowing man grabbed my shoulders. I ignored the pain.
“There’s not much time. You have to leave the compound. This place and there overlap. The power of the King and his servant Payman wax strong there, too strong even for me. Payman has had too much time to prepare hnis defenses.”
“Pay-who?” I asked. “You mean Pieman? How do I leave? They don’t wanna let me. How…”
He shoved me away. The horde of robed figures descended on him as I fell. I hit the ground, but kept falling further and further. There were flashes of light, and then I woke up.
So, uh, what the fuck? Was that a dream, a spiritual journey, a disease-induced hallucination, or have I just gone fucking crazy? I was ready to have a more open mind about these guys here, but now my dreams are telling me to run away? It doesn’t make sense.
I’ll go to their next Sunday service. I’ll give them one last chance. If I don’t like what I see, I’ll hop on one of the busses out of here, and if I can’t do that, I’ll fucking walk back to town if I have to.